when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
i think i just lost a toe
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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