i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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