Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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