i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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