I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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