hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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