Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize