I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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