If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize