dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you made out with another girl for some wings
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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