and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize