Texts From Last Night

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  (541): View more from Oregon

  I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.

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  (541): I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that. http://tfl.nu/itf1
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.

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  (810): I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself. http://tfl.nu/iwxe
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town

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  (215): you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town http://tfl.nu/6oiy
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  (631): View more from New York

  we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"

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  (631): we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!" http://tfl.nu/dw66
  Replies (15) Good night (3279) Bad night (806)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.

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  (317): fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked. http://tfl.nu/j4lz
  Replies (7) Good night (633) Bad night (3687) Order T-Shirt
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.

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  (513): sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things. http://tfl.nu/e6ox
  Replies (36) Good night (9120) Bad night (967) Order T-Shirt
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie

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  (504): Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie http://tfl.nu/6e1s
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.

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  (860): I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name. http://tfl.nu/83o9
  Replies (22) Good night (5427) Bad night (776) Order T-Shirt
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood

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  (440): Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood http://tfl.nu/t6a5
  Replies (13) Good night (970) Bad night (3675) Order T-Shirt
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.

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  (705): Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night. http://tfl.nu/58lp
  Replies (18) Good night (929) Bad night (3905) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth

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  (203): I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth http://tfl.nu/68yw
  Replies (38) Good night (5241) Bad night (1417) Order T-Shirt
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams

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  (717): You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams http://tfl.nu/9pxu
  Replies (4) Good night (2197) Bad night (446) Order T-Shirt
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  (360): View more from Washington

  he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously

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  (360): he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously http://tfl.nu/w3a5
  Replies (3) Good night (1706) Bad night (406) Order T-Shirt
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.

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  (217): sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar. http://tfl.nu/imgt
  Replies (4) Good night (1268) Bad night (483) Order T-Shirt
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.

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  (907): Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy. http://tfl.nu/fd5d
  Replies (2) Good night (1188) Bad night (314) Order T-Shirt

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