We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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