i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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