Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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