So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
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