they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
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I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
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I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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