My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Randomize