allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize