I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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