i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize