Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Randomize