oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
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I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
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You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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