if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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