You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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