I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
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