I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
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