I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize