I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
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she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
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Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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