Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize