Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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