Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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