I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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