At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize