He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
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If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
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I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
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