he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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