school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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