He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize