then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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