Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
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