Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
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