No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
people are starting to question the shark bite story
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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