actually, I'm a sock model
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize