Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize