So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
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...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize