i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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