I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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