and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
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I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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