the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
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I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
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I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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