You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize